Selepas Isyak...

dibawah buruj malam dia duduk,

matanya memandang jauh ke laut hitam,

yang penghujungnya halimunan

dia diam keseorangan.

manusia berjalan melepasinya,

leka tidak menyedarinya,

dia tidak kisah, kebiasaan... syaitan mula tugasnya lepas isyak

sebagai peronda pantai, menyesatkan anak adam dan hawa...

jadikan mereka kader neraka...lantak merekalah

tak kira agama, mereka telah diamarkan ..

dia tidak endah, mindanya rakus memikir...

sengsara hatinya pabila rindu tidak dijawab.

memoria alkisah lampau hantuinya,

dia perlukan anjakan paradigma minda?

atau rindunya dijawab?

yang terkemudian tampak mustahil...

dia bangun dan pergi,

tiada kesan kehadirannya,

kecuali pasir pantai yang lembap...

Action.. Intention...

Good... Bad, Yin...Yang, They're both the opposite of each other

Good represents something positive, while bad represents something well... Bad and negative... You get the bloody idea. But how do we justify things as good or bad? ... How do we categorize something as good or bad. A man stealing from a shop. Thats bad. But A man stealing from a shop to feed a family. Is that bad... ? Robin Hood, Is he bad? .... Does bad actions done in good intentions is a bad thing? ... Or does good actions done in a bad intention a good thing? ... Lying to someone to protect them.. Is that bad? ... or telling the truth and starting a war... An indian parent tells their girls that talking to an older guy is bad? ... Is it? ... They are lying to the kid to protect them... Is that bad? ...If a guy hides something from his family, to protect them, to keep things safe, and happy... Is it wrong? ...

My dad used to tell me that there will be a time where you will be able to differentiate whats good and whats bad, but now, what I see is that good and bad are things that vary in each human, in each boy and girl, men and women. There are different versions of everything, and sometimes its stupid to think at all angles.
Someone who used to be the closest person to me once said that actions speak louder than words, and that your version of the truth and my version of the truth are different. She was right. Its the way people see things, If you see the front of a book, you see only the front cover. If you see a book from its back, you only see its back cover. Think steady, Read the book, Think from all angles. In a situation, think about the reason of the other parties' act. You see from all angles, you consider every perception, then you get the full picture. and YES!, action speaks louder than words, action speaks louder than feelings, action speaks louder than intentions. Robin Hood stole, but how would the other party would know why he did it? ...No matter how good your intentions are, no matter how noble that may be, Sometimes the world just considers the actions you've done, at that point, who considers your intentions, your feelings... Who?

Are we good? Are we bad? ....

Calculus Test

Bayu hawa mekanikal membeku,

Namun badan terasa suam,

Tekanan tinggi dirasa... bukan tekanan atmosferik,

jasad bukan seorang, mengejar menyelesaikan teka-teki matematikal,

mengejar masa berdetik pantas malar,

60 menunduk ke bawah,

60 menulis,

Ada minda tersenyum, ada minda meraung geram, ada minda putus asa,

ekspresi minda terpahat di wajah.

Buzer berdering sesaat, entah jam tangan anak siapa.

pensyarah bangun .....

anniversary

20 years ago at this date, a young couple were united under a holy matrimony... A couple who had their own shared hopes and dreams ... Hopes and dreams which are to be fulfilled under my responsibility... and I will ...

Identiti.

Hari ini memang berani ku kata bahawa ku punya ramai kawan. Sejak juvenil dan sebelumnya, ku bisa bergaul tanpa mengira perbezaan dari hampir semua segi. Ku fikir banyak boleh ku belajar dari minda mereka, dari tindakan positif dan negatif mereka. Ku jadikan teladan dan pengajaran, dan juga sesetengahnya amaran. Ku kenal ramai... pelbagai identiti, seorang satu identiti, ada yang pelbagai identiti dalam satu jasad, ada yang hanya bertopeng... dipakai di luaran, belang sebenarnya disembunyikan.
Ku lihat peribadi mereka... ku sedar, ku tidak punya identiti...
Ku selami diri, ku jumpa ilmu... ku jumpa semangat... ku jumpa impian... ku jumpa kasih ... ku jumpa cinta... ku jumpa kemarahan.. ku jumpa kesedihan.. ku jumpa pelbagai

tapi kini... diluaran... banyak peribadi lenyap... impian lenyap... semangat lenyap... semua lenyap... ku jumpa sisa-sisa cinta... ku jumpa sisa-sisa kasih familial, ku jumpa ilmu... ku jumpa tanggungjawab...

Ku mahu identiti kunoku pulih... ku mahu segalanya kembali..

Tahun Baru

Pada tahun baru ini, inginku menutup satu bab dalam hidupku, bab yang penuh emosi dan drama, bab yang penuh pengajaran, bab yang penuh cinta dan patah hati. Ku tutup bab 2010... Ku simpan dalam kotak ... sekali sekala akanku buka dan lihat memori indah yang ada... Ku ucap terima kasih bagi semua.. 2010 merupakan tahun yang akan berbeza dalam hidupku.

Jika ditanya azam tahun baruku, akanku jawab mencari kecemerlangan dalam pelajaranku, tetapi jika ditanya apakah permintaanku setiap kaliku berdoa.. jawapanku mungkin sekali mengusik emosi dan absurd...

Jadi, ku mulakan 2011 ini dengan azam untuk menunaikan harapan ibu bapaku dan menghapuskan rasa kecewa mereka terhadapku.... dan ku harap... ku amat amat berharap doaku dimakbulkan ...

Ku ajak kawan-kawanku lupakan segala yang buruk dan ambil memori serta tabiat yang murni, yang baik, yang positif apabila melangkah ke tahun baru ini .... dan ku ucap semoga maju jaya ....

Heartbreak ... Scientifically!!

This post is gonna bilingual so bear with me...

Adelah seorang member aku ... afiq namanye... dia cadangkan aku update blog aku ... at first... I didnt knew what I was supposed to post... So i went deep into myself, and found the part of me that still hurts.... and decided to do a scientific research about it... the results were shocking ...

A broken heart (or heartbreak) is a common metaphor used to describe the intense emotional pain or suffering one feels after losing a loved one, through death, divorce, breakup, moving, being rejected, or other means.

Heartbreak is usually associated with losing a spouse or loved one, though losing a parent, child, pet, or close friend can also "break one's heart". The phrase refers to the physical pain one may feel in the chest as a result of the loss. Although "heartbreak" is usually a metaphor, there is a condition - appropriately known as "broken heart syndrome" - where a traumatizing incident triggers the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue.

The symptoms of a "broken heart" can manifest themselves through psychological pain but for many the effect is physical. Although the experience is regarded commonly as indescribable, the following is a list of common symptoms that occur:

A perceived tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
Stomachache and/or loss of appetite
Partial or complete insomnia
Anger
Shock
Nostalgia
Apathy (loss of interest)
Anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure)
Feelings of loneliness
Feelings of hopelessness and despair
Loss of self-respect and/or self-esteem
Medical or psychological illness (for example depression)
Suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)
Nausea
Fatigue
The thousand-yard stare
Constant or frequent crying
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy
A feeling of complete emptiness
In extreme cases, death..

Hell! ... (Although "heartbreak" is usually a metaphor, there is a condition - appropriately known as "broken heart syndrome" - where a traumatizing incident triggers the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue.) ..This phrase was really shocking!! ...

so i went furtherr into "broken heart syndrome" ..

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, also known as transient apical ballooning syndrome,[1] apical ballooning cardiomyopathy,[2] stress-induced cardiomyopathy, broken-heart-syndrome, Gebrochenes-Herz-Syndrom, and simply stress cardiomyopathy, is a type of non-ischemic cardiomyopathy in which there is a sudden temporary weakening of the myocardium (the muscle of the heart). Because this weakening can be triggered by emotional stress, such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or constant rejection, the condition is also known as broken heart syndrome.[3] Stress cardiomyopathy is a well-recognized cause of acute heart failure, lethal ventricular arrhythmias, and ventricular rupture.[4]

The typical presentation of someone with takotsubo cardiomyopathy is a sudden onset of congestive heart failure or chest pain associated with ECG changes suggestive of an anterior wall myocardial infarction. During the course of evaluation of the patient, a bulging out of the left ventricular apex with a hypercontractile base of the left ventricle is often noted.





the left side is a human heart having the broken heart syndrome and the right one is a normal heart.


secara ringkasnya, the pain is caused by weakening of one muscle in the heart la... causing overflow blood in the ventricle... so hence the pain...

So basically, the deep, extremely, sometimes indescribably painful feeling at the middle of the chest is more physical...

Revealing facts! ....

p/s: research was done involving various sources... but for blogging purposes, wikipedia was used as its definitions were more understandable...