Justifikasi Literasi Hati Minda

Selepas Isyak...

2011-06-24T10:26:00.001-07:00

dibawah buruj malam dia duduk,

matanya memandang jauh ke laut hitam,

yang penghujungnya halimunan

dia diam keseorangan.

manusia berjalan melepasinya,

leka tidak menyedarinya,

dia tidak kisah, kebiasaan... syaitan mula tugasnya lepas isyak

sebagai peronda pantai, menyesatkan anak adam dan hawa...

jadikan mereka kader neraka...lantak merekalah

tak kira agama, mereka telah diamarkan ..

dia tidak endah, mindanya rakus memikir...

sengsara hatinya pabila rindu tidak dijawab.

memoria alkisah lampau hantuinya,

dia perlukan anjakan paradigma minda?

atau rindunya dijawab?

yang terkemudian tampak mustahil...

dia bangun dan pergi,

tiada kesan kehadirannya,

kecuali pasir pantai yang lembap...

Action.. Intention...

2011-05-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

Good... Bad, Yin...Yang, They're both the opposite of each other

Good represents something positive, while bad represents something well... Bad and negative... You get the bloody idea. But how do we justify things as good or bad? ... How do we categorize something as good or bad. A man stealing from a shop. Thats bad. But A man stealing from a shop to feed a family. Is that bad... ? Robin Hood, Is he bad? .... Does bad actions done in good intentions is a bad thing? ... Or does good actions done in a bad intention a good thing? ... Lying to someone to protect them.. Is that bad? ... or telling the truth and starting a war... An indian parent tells their girls that talking to an older guy is bad? ... Is it? ... They are lying to the kid to protect them... Is that bad? ...If a guy hides something from his family, to protect them, to keep things safe, and happy... Is it wrong? ...

My dad used to tell me that there will be a time where you will be able to differentiate whats good and whats bad, but now, what I see is that good and bad are things that vary in each human, in each boy and girl, men and women. There are different versions of everything, and sometimes its stupid to think at all angles.
Someone who used to be the closest person to me once said that actions speak louder than words, and that your version of the truth and my version of the truth are different. She was right. Its the way people see things, If you see the front of a book, you see only the front cover. If you see a book from its back, you only see its back cover. Think steady, Read the book, Think from all angles. In a situation, think about the reason of the other parties' act. You see from all angles, you consider every perception, then you get the full picture. and YES!, action speaks louder than words, action speaks louder than feelings, action speaks louder than intentions. Robin Hood stole, but how would the other party would know why he did it? ...No matter how good your intentions are, no matter how noble that may be, Sometimes the world just considers the actions you've done, at that point, who considers your intentions, your feelings... Who?

Are we good? Are we bad? ....

Calculus Test

2011-03-31T09:44:00.001-07:00

Bayu hawa mekanikal membeku,

Namun badan terasa suam,

Tekanan tinggi dirasa... bukan tekanan atmosferik,

jasad bukan seorang, mengejar menyelesaikan teka-teki matematikal,

mengejar masa berdetik pantas malar,

60 menunduk ke bawah,

60 menulis,

Ada minda tersenyum, ada minda meraung geram, ada minda putus asa,

ekspresi minda terpahat di wajah.

Buzer berdering sesaat, entah jam tangan anak siapa.

pensyarah bangun .....

anniversary

2011-03-02T08:32:00.001-08:00

20 years ago at this date, a young couple were united under a holy matrimony... A couple who had their own shared hopes and dreams ... Hopes and dreams which are to be fulfilled under my responsibility... and I will ...

Identiti.

2011-01-27T09:06:00.001-08:00

Hari ini memang berani ku kata bahawa ku punya ramai kawan. Sejak juvenil dan sebelumnya, ku bisa bergaul tanpa mengira perbezaan dari hampir semua segi. Ku fikir banyak boleh ku belajar dari minda mereka, dari tindakan positif dan negatif mereka. Ku jadikan teladan dan pengajaran, dan juga sesetengahnya amaran. Ku kenal ramai... pelbagai identiti, seorang satu identiti, ada yang pelbagai identiti dalam satu jasad, ada yang hanya bertopeng... dipakai di luaran, belang sebenarnya disembunyikan.
Ku lihat peribadi mereka... ku sedar, ku tidak punya identiti...
Ku selami diri, ku jumpa ilmu... ku jumpa semangat... ku jumpa impian... ku jumpa kasih ... ku jumpa cinta... ku jumpa kemarahan.. ku jumpa kesedihan.. ku jumpa pelbagai

tapi kini... diluaran... banyak peribadi lenyap... impian lenyap... semangat lenyap... semua lenyap... ku jumpa sisa-sisa cinta... ku jumpa sisa-sisa kasih familial, ku jumpa ilmu... ku jumpa tanggungjawab...

Ku mahu identiti kunoku pulih... ku mahu segalanya kembali..

Tahun Baru

2010-12-31T07:18:00.000-08:00

Pada tahun baru ini, inginku menutup satu bab dalam hidupku, bab yang penuh emosi dan drama, bab yang penuh pengajaran, bab yang penuh cinta dan patah hati. Ku tutup bab 2010... Ku simpan dalam kotak ... sekali sekala akanku buka dan lihat memori indah yang ada... Ku ucap terima kasih bagi semua.. 2010 merupakan tahun yang akan berbeza dalam hidupku.

Jika ditanya azam tahun baruku, akanku jawab mencari kecemerlangan dalam pelajaranku, tetapi jika ditanya apakah permintaanku setiap kaliku berdoa.. jawapanku mungkin sekali mengusik emosi dan absurd...

Jadi, ku mulakan 2011 ini dengan azam untuk menunaikan harapan ibu bapaku dan menghapuskan rasa kecewa mereka terhadapku.... dan ku harap... ku amat amat berharap doaku dimakbulkan ...

Ku ajak kawan-kawanku lupakan segala yang buruk dan ambil memori serta tabiat yang murni, yang baik, yang positif apabila melangkah ke tahun baru ini .... dan ku ucap semoga maju jaya ....

Heartbreak ... Scientifically!!

2010-12-28T20:45:00.001-08:00

This post is gonna bilingual so bear with me...

Adelah seorang member aku ... afiq namanye... dia cadangkan aku update blog aku ... at first... I didnt knew what I was supposed to post... So i went deep into myself, and found the part of me that still hurts.... and decided to do a scientific research about it... the results were shocking ...

A broken heart (or heartbreak) is a common metaphor used to describe the intense emotional pain or suffering one feels after losing a loved one, through death, divorce, breakup, moving, being rejected, or other means.

Heartbreak is usually associated with losing a spouse or loved one, though losing a parent, child, pet, or close friend can also "break one's heart". The phrase refers to the physical pain one may feel in the chest as a result of the loss. Although "heartbreak" is usually a metaphor, there is a condition - appropriately known as "broken heart syndrome" - where a traumatizing incident triggers the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue.

The symptoms of a "broken heart" can manifest themselves through psychological pain but for many the effect is physical. Although the experience is regarded commonly as indescribable, the following is a list of common symptoms that occur:

A perceived tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
Stomachache and/or loss of appetite
Partial or complete insomnia
Anger
Shock
Nostalgia
Apathy (loss of interest)
Anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure)
Feelings of loneliness
Feelings of hopelessness and despair
Loss of self-respect and/or self-esteem
Medical or psychological illness (for example depression)
Suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)
Nausea
Fatigue
The thousand-yard stare
Constant or frequent crying
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy
A feeling of complete emptiness
In extreme cases, death..

Hell! ... (Although "heartbreak" is usually a metaphor, there is a condition - appropriately known as "broken heart syndrome" - where a traumatizing incident triggers the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue.) ..This phrase was really shocking!! ...

so i went furtherr into "broken heart syndrome" ..

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, also known as transient apical ballooning syndrome,[1] apical ballooning cardiomyopathy,[2] stress-induced cardiomyopathy, broken-heart-syndrome, Gebrochenes-Herz-Syndrom, and simply stress cardiomyopathy, is a type of non-ischemic cardiomyopathy in which there is a sudden temporary weakening of the myocardium (the muscle of the heart). Because this weakening can be triggered by emotional stress, such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or constant rejection, the condition is also known as broken heart syndrome.[3] Stress cardiomyopathy is a well-recognized cause of acute heart failure, lethal ventricular arrhythmias, and ventricular rupture.[4]

The typical presentation of someone with takotsubo cardiomyopathy is a sudden onset of congestive heart failure or chest pain associated with ECG changes suggestive of an anterior wall myocardial infarction. During the course of evaluation of the patient, a bulging out of the left ventricular apex with a hypercontractile base of the left ventricle is often noted.

the left side is a human heart having the broken heart syndrome and the right one is a normal heart.

secara ringkasnya, the pain is caused by weakening of one muscle in the heart la... causing overflow blood in the ventricle... so hence the pain...

So basically, the deep, extremely, sometimes indescribably painful feeling at the middle of the chest is more physical...

Revealing facts! ....

p/s: research was done involving various sources... but for blogging purposes, wikipedia was used as its definitions were more understandable...

Cuti...

2010-11-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

frasa yang seringkali membawa jeritan yay!! dan merdekha!!! apabila sekolah tamat, cuti. Kini di menara gading, situasi tidak begitu berbeza... Cuti sekolahku, dan kini universitiku tidak begitu dilengkapi dengan 'holiday' di luar negara mahupun dalan negara... paling2 pun, melawat stadhuys dan runtuhan gereja St Paul ketika mengambil adik yang belajar di sana... cutiku juga tidak dihabiskan dengan aktiviti lepak dan keluar bersama rakan rakan sehinggalah ku berada di akhir tingkatan 4, sekarang pun sekali sekala sahaja, kurang frekuensinya dengan sahabat sahabatku yang lain. Namun, pada satu tahun, sahaja, Decemberku dihiasi dengan bunga bunga cinta dan kasih.. Itu sudah jadi peristiwa lama... Biasanya cutiku akan dihabiskan bermain permainan komputer, menghabiskan masa, bergaduh, dan beradventur dengan dua adik lelakiku, memasak dengan ibuku, dan menjadi penolong ayahku di kerja, dan pelbagai aktiviti lain yang boleh dikatakan ritual... Dahulu, ku terlalu muda untuk menganalisa, tetapi, sekarang, aku mendapati bahawa keluargaku amat selesa dengan cara hidup begini, sememangnya benar, ayah dan ibuku mahukan kami sebagai anak untuk hidup lebih 'high class' dari sekarang tetapi aku fikir, mungkinkah keselesaan ini dikecapi dengan status yang lebih tinggi? mampukah ketenangan jiwa dan perasaan kesederhanaan yang dirasai sekarang boleh dirasai di kedudukan yang lebih tinggi dalam status sosial? Seperti orang yang berstatus tinggi diletakkan dalam kedudukan sebegini akan bertindak seperti kelawar dalam gua yang tiba-tiba di terangi cahaya terang, mungkinkah aku akan bertindak sebegitu apabila diletakkan di kedudukan 'high class' secara tiba-tiba?

Semester One Ends

2010-11-18T02:54:00.000-08:00

I'm back home, so this time i have a great amount of time to post something really decent. (yawns...)
University was a hell of an experience, experience which i have much to experience if you know what I mean. Sometimes I just feel that being to indulged into my emotions of what happened is keeping me down, and i know it is. . . i feel like so what if i have lost my only best friend, and my first one, I'll live through this life myself... I'll do it alone, and I'll get through, but sometimes... well most of the time... my emotions get hold of me.
Anyways, uni was nice, a variety of feelings... a variety of experience... just as PLKN was, but just in a different manner. Eventhough I can't actually feel happy anymore, I feel a hell lot different things... so I guess that counts as me not being emotionless yet.
If I were to narrate one interesting experience by another, the sun will begin to rise and i'll be more sleep deprived than ever. many events were interesting, even in a hostile manner such as ragging... it has its own benefits... example: after the ragging period, we (juniors) got to know many seniors and we became friends with them.... and when i say many... i mean like alot of seniors... thrice as much as you would be friends with if the "introduction" session never occured. I have alot friends here... a few new good friends whom I trust. .. played a lot games... watched alot movies... studied alot... drove a manual car without parental guidance... I learnt alot... I experienced alot... and after all of this, I can atleast say that for the next semester, I'm looking forward for more experiences...
Finals wasn't very good... and i doubt i'll be anywhere near excellent... but based on my emotional instability, i can say that i managed okay... hope that god throws in a few strings...

Lastly,

"whatever we do may be insignificant, but it is most important that we do it"
-M.K.Gandhi-

I care ...

Dhijee

Jungle Roses

2010-11-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

Its like with a stalk of jungle rose... so damn beautiful, hold it once and u'd feel like u've gotten everyting you wanted. but then, its thorns begin to hurt you... tearing into your flesh, the more harder your grip, the more pain it brings.... You'd let go.
The thing with people like me is, we still hold on to the flower.... even with our already injured hands we still faithfully hold the stalk, the pain is now excruciating... but we still hold on, because we have faith in the beauty of the flower, because we know that the flower is not to be blamed for the thorns it is created with... that is its nature.... we have hope in that flower... we love that flower...

Memoirs...

2010-11-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

I can still recall the first time i fell from a moving car, I can still see the scar from my first bicycle fall. I can still hear the screams and wailings of the possesed and hysterical students during Kem Koko Diraja 2007, I can still hear the shots of my M-16 and feel its recoil, looking at smoke oozing out of the target board being hit by my bullets, so many memories, but most of all... one memory stands above it all... the one I will always cherish and the one that will always haunt me. . . the one memory that branches into a million others....

Happy Deepavali

2010-11-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

TO ALL... HAPPY DEEPAVALI

May everyone of you, regardless of race, ethnic, religion and background have a good time on this Festival of Lights.

Gunned Down

2010-10-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

First, I was gunned down by my parents
then i was gunned down by my fear of death,
after that I was gunned down by my laziness,
Love came, and freed me for awile...
Then the lover left...
and I was gunned down by her words...
Now i am gunned down by my emotions ... .

To You...

2010-10-09T13:05:00.000-07:00

To you...

You were my first and only best friend, my inspiration, my mentor, my guardian angel, my heart... You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen...

Now,
As I walk through this path alone,
I will always remember the memories,
I will always cherish them,
I will always Miss You...

Short Story 2

2010-09-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

She stood there, silently. The silent night was occasionally broken by sounds of nature... a wolf howled in the distance... the rumbling of leaves of trees when an occasional breeze swept by, the forest sounded alive, eerie, but in a way... peaceful. However, she wasn’t paying attention to the sounds. The cool midnight breeze did very little to cool down the anger in her heart, an anger not for anyone in the world, but for herself. The guilt was killing her, guilt for have made a very big mistake. She looked down. The full moon did little to reveal an image of a cliff right beneath her, hundreds of feet, and forest at the bottom. From above, the forest appeared as large canopies, occasionally a pine would poke through revealing a stalagmite view. She knew all those trees would to do almost nothing to save her if she fell, which was exactly the point of why she was standing only at the precipice of the edge. Her only regret was that she was going to bring someone with her.

When I say

2010-09-11T09:01:00.001-07:00

When I say I'm Sleepy, i'm actually lazy
When I say I'm hungry, I'm starving
When I say I'm Lazy, I'm really lazy
When I say i'm an idiot, I just made a mistake
When I say my _____ hilang la!!! i Just must have forgotten where i kept it
When I say i sang in the night, i was actually half crying
When I say i'm not afraid of flying insects, I was lying
When I say that movie superb la, I like it cause the quality, not because its utterly 'gempak'
when I say nothing, I'm thinking
when I say I miss you, I really do
When I say I need to study, i'm really last minute studying already
When I say I bullied i kid, I was actually playing with him
When I say I understand, I actually thought of it from your perspective, not mine
When I say something about someone, I've done a rough analysis bout his/her character
When I say i'm happy, I didnt mean it
When I say i have no money, i'm really pokai ady
When I say dont disturb me, seriously, dont disturb me
When I say late already, faster come, i'm already damn anxious
When I say something from a scientific or historical view, i actually was telling the truth
When I say i cant tell you, its a secret i wish not to tell
When I say i'm okay, i'm not
when I say i need your help, i really need your help
When I say i'm sick, i'm very sick
When I say I Love You, I Swear To God... I Mean It with All My Heart

Good Night

Theory

2010-08-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

One man's meat is another man's poison... one gossip about someone is sensational to others but a death wish for the person involved or relatively similar... the practical value in a result of an experiment wont always be same as the theoretical value... sometimes the version of truth you believe in isnt the truth at all, its just the way you understand things. A superb Chicken curry can be spoiled by a minuscule bacteria. . . A superb relationship can be destroyed by just one problem. . . But Life Goes On ....

Love ...

2010-07-17T23:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems almost a trend that girls and guys participate in a search for a prefect person ...to be their bf or gf .. or even to be betrothed with. . .

I dont know about everyone else, but that isn't how it works for me ...

I came to love not by finding a perfect person, but i succeeded in seeing that imperfect person perfectly, whether that profound sense of sight came after i fell in love or before i fell in love... i dont know... but i did, and when it happened, from that day onwards, that person would be an angel...in every possible way, and if you hold on to that sight, you'd be able to handle her at her worst... and at her very best..

The thing is, weirdly, that profound sight became permanent to my eyes, till now... and i have no idea whether thats a good thing or not...

signing out,
Dhijee

UMP

2010-06-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

i am a new mahasiswa in the University Malaysia Pahang..... if you happen to pass by... drop by to say hi :)

Irony

2010-06-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

When i say that my life so far is filled with so many sad ironies... mark my word because its so damn true..

example number one:

You were so worried that i would leave you... finally you were the one you told me to stay away from you.... :( :( :(

rindu

2010-06-22T02:16:00.000-07:00

She was his best friend. now no more. . . Yet, he missed her alot.

one day, he went to pick up his friend from school, The very same school she was in.
He drove, and he parked the car at a distance, intentionally to avoid the traffic jam when school finishes. He walked up to a spot in front of the school, his eyes scanning a row of cars moving ever slowly to the front of the school, one by one, students climbed in and the cars left. He spotted her uncle's car, in that row, crawling slowly to the front of the school gate. Her uncle never noticed him. he waited at a distance, concealed, unseen, watching the car move right infront of the school gate and then stopped. he inhaled, hoping to get a glimpse of her. and then... she came, walking, he admired her, flashes of their sweet memories appeared, she went into the car,

The total time between she coming out of the school and she going into the car lasted a good 5 seconds ...

the car drove off... dissapearing into the herd of cars ...
and tears started flowing down his cheeks

ram... ravanan

2010-06-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Okay... this is seriously a weird topic.. but it came out of the blue for me after i watched the movie Raavanan... the movie basically was meant to make viewers think... and yes! ... it got so much thinking out of me!!

for dudes who have no idea what crap i'm talking... please comment back.. and i'll send you the proper explaination for everything ... but theres only thing i want to say...

If you think I’m Ram I am Ram
If you think I’m Ravanan I am Ravanan
If you think I’m both I am both of them
I’m Ram.. I’m Ravanan

if you think i'm a good person, i am a good person for you...
if you think i'm a bad person, i am a bad person for you...
if you thik i have good and bad in me... then yes.... for you thats ryte...
i am good, i am bad,
i am ram .. i am ravanan
thats your opinion
i know you i am ....

tak kisahlah whatever orang pikir pasal you.... if you dont know your own character.... if you dont have a justification for your own actions ...... then you are lost....

just as i was.... not a long time ago

. . . . .

2010-02-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

I

HATE

MY

LIFE

!
!
!

Too bored = mula berkarya

2010-01-31T17:06:00.001-08:00

Even in the deafening silence of the night, my footsteps were unheard, the
full moon slightly brightened the dark gloomy atmosphere providing me a
view of what is up ahead. Clad in black, i was unseen by the naked eye.
I climbed above the gate. I scurried my way and i sneaked into the house through the door quickly before the german shepard noticed my presence. The door opened easily and i entered, slowly closing it. Thank god i made a spare copy of the master key. As i tip-toed my way into the big house, I felt a silent vibration in my pocket. i took my phone out, 1 SMS received. I opened it.

"What are you doing in my house!"

I ignored the message and continued my way in. The house was dark, pitch black. i paused for moment, allowing my pupils to adjust itself to the low light intensity. . I climbed the stairs. I paused at the last stair trying to guess which room belonged to her. I've never been to this part of the house. Then suddenly,a dark figure pulled me. Startled, i just followed the figure into a room. The door slammed shut behind me, breaking all the silence.

"What the hell are you doing here! ", the dark figured said in an angry tone,
I smiled. I recognised the voice, her voice
"i came to see you" i said.

To be continued..... if anyone wants to read of course :P

life

2010-01-30T00:26:00.000-08:00

BOORIIINNG>>>

2010-01-08T03:07:00.000-08:00

i knoe ... everyone says that life after SPM is soo boring ...
so am i ... buuuuttt... theres this catch ...

MY LIFE IS A PURE BORE FROM 6.45 AM TILL 2.45/3.10/12.30 PM. . ..

WHY ..... ? .
1.. MY BEST FRIEND IS AT SKOOL.... :(
2. I DONT HAVE A PROPER READING MATERIAL ..
3. THAT PERIOD IS MY MOMENTS OF BLUUR ... TAK TAU APA NAK BUAT... SESAT ...
4. I DAH DENGAR SUME LAGU KAT HANDPHONE AKU .... I DAH OUTDATED PASAL LAGu .....
5. I TAKDE KERRJA ...
6. I DONT HAVE DRIVING FACILITIES ...
7. I MISS YOU DAAAA
8.... BYE PPL I'M GOING CRAZY ....

My first handphone

2010-01-04T00:16:00.000-08:00

ladies and gentlemen....

i would like to introduce you my first phone .... my harta pusaka...

C 902 . . . ur mine ....

feast your eyes people ....

For You

2010-01-03T23:52:00.000-08:00

dear readers .... i have a confession to make ... .. . . .

I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND!!! . .

thanks 4 being so caring .... and understanding .. u've always been there 4 me ... when others left me ... ur so motherly to me ... i like being pampered by you... and always telling whats right for me... helping me differentiate right from wrong... i cant make it this far without you... . . best friends 4 eva ......

this one is for you

. . .

2010-01-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

HIM: ... I have a confession to make
HER: tella
HIM: I cant stop thinking bout you
HER: uhuh... yea rite
HIM: Sighs .... :P .....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

the song of my life during cuti sekolah ( SO FAR )

2009-12-24T07:51:00.000-08:00

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, i'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, wuz up, it use to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes i'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl wuz up, wuz up, wuz up, wuz up

Meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
That's where i'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Girl,i travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galexies
Just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, i, i, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
I wanna to have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway..way

Can you meet me half way
Right at the boarderline
That's where i'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, i'll fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and i, for you and i, for for you and i,
For for you and i, for for you and i, for you and i

Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Meet me half way, right at the boarderline
That's where i'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

guess what song .....

i wanted to complete a crossword puzzle.... but damn, no pencil at sight .... this house no pencil ar... so i went to my untouched bag... since 8th december :P ... and i took my pencil box ... as i wass searching 4 my pencil picit... i came across a small note. ... a note i used to read evrytime b4 each of my paper during SPM ....
" DHIJEE...... gud luck da " ..... i began crying ... i miss you .. my best friend ...

and... merry christmas ppl ...

:: 25th December 2009.... 12.01 a.m. ... ::

from 8 december till 17 december

2009-12-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

well... honestly, i dont know what to say about my life after the dreadful SPM ..
.... except..... BOOOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGG.
its official that since 8th december, i've never went to the movies...

beach .. once.... thank god that was like a bliss... and i and my bros curi-curi found our way tru the jungle to 3rd bay ... while dad calling and lecturing tru the cellphone, i wonder why got connection in the middle of the jungle.
anyways... technically we, carelessly, bravely, and recklessly ran tru the muddy pathways with roots all over the place (wearing slippers) till a journey which was supposed to be 15 minutes to there ended in like... 5 minutes? .. so fast ar...
anyways ... the 3rd bay.... cekaplah... the sand was white.... like in the pirates of the Caribbean movie where jack sparrow got abandoned on an island.... tat white color... and the scenery was nice... and abandoned.... except a bunch of guys and gals bathing naked in the horizon ... :P .... i didnt see anything!!
my cousin and her fiance was there anyway .... waiting at second bay.. the picnic was there... and i fought with a monkey which stole a bunch of uni gal's KFC... my auntie made me do it... the monkey almost jumped at me... damn ...
and 4 da 1st time... i tasted a sundae.... i told the guy.. "bang.. tambah chocolate boleh tak)" ... and he filled the cup full with chocolate !! .... nice.... and we spent a whole day there... doing stuff...

besides... i passed my driving test( the ujian ber komputer) ,,,,
and now i have nothing to do ... thank god 4 my best friend who contacts me all the time .... appreciate it da...

so .... guys... have fun ... and sesiapa yang boring sangat ... call me....

byes

I LOVE RAISING THE WHITE FLAG

2009-12-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

hi ...
anyways ... these are one of the nite where i spent my nights thinking of what went wrong ... so i opened my inbox... and i was going tru one of my e-mails.... then i read smething that totally made my emo-crap feeling dissapear..
so ... i dedicate this post to my friend who brought me back to the 'jalan yang benar' by sending me that e-mail... shahran ..

the title... LOVE & EGO... catchy huh :)

'Sometimes love is for a moment, sometimes love is for a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.'

Once upon a time there was an island,
Where all the feelings lived.

One day there was a storm in the sea
and the island was about to get drowned.
Every feeling was scared but Love made a boat to escape .
Every feeling boarded the boat..

Only 1 feeling was left.
Love got down to see who it was..
It was EGO©.
Love tried and tried but ego wasn't moving also.
the water was rising..

Every one asked love to leave him and come in the boat, but love was
made to love.

At last all the feelings escape and Love dies with ego on the island..

Love Dies because of EGO!

So, Kill Ego And Save Love.....

One Message to our friends:-

'Argument wins the situations but loses the person. So when argue with your loved ones, remember that situations is never more important than your loved ones.....'

so i raised the white flag.... whats the use of winning if it will only destroy US.... >?????? .... lols...

nites...

2009-11-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

thanks 4 being sceptical and cynical....
siapa yang makan cili, dia yang terasa pedasya ....
aku yang menyuap kamu cili tersebut, maka memang padan muka aku kau begitu,
sistem tubuhku huru hara,
jantungku berdengup tanpa irama,
badanku lemah ditiup angin angin kesedihan,
semuanya salah aku. salah aku .... salah ak. . .. salah ... sal..... sa.. s.....

time is running out... -muse- ... entah kenapa aku tiba2 teringin nak post ....
anyways ...
SPM 1 week 5 days to go ... die lah
6 days to lepak in skool :(
and and.... according to maybe trustable and authoritised sources .... after SPM ....
i oly have 2 weeks of freedom b4 my damn NS .... thats heartbreaking mann .... dahlah i tak nak pergi ... now i cant take my license b4 that.... haish ...
thanks to Kerajaan Malaysia, i'll be celebrating my birthday in the jungle..... yay(sarcastic) .... balik terus result keluar... but i dnt knw which batch i am in but according to that source ..."kalau you dah isi borang tu kat sekolah " that means probably 1st batch la.... " nice la...
and the dilemma of my personal problems .... which i'm so desperately trying to understand and solve...
will it last...
will i suceed...
will i survive....
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

First Monday Of Quarantine

2009-08-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

hey guys,
it seems like i havent posted stuff for a couple of months i guess
besides the lack of time that i have, i suddenly find everything that is going on around me too personal to post...
so, my life is only focused on merely 2 things at the preset moment

anyways, since my last post.
i've watched
angels and demons
terminator salvation
transformers 2
and harry potter and the half prince thingy
its definitely the most times i've went to the cinema in a few years

and now,
the skool has been closed down due to the H1N1 outbreak
i didnt feel happy at all .... frankly... i'd rather sit in skool
but i have to admit it has its pros and cons
and SMK cenderawasih pengetua said that got 3 cases in Perkampungan Cenderawasih. . .shit la

and my uncle's close frend just got murdered a few days back
uncle segaran,
he was a family friend,
i knew him very well ... i good lad , he was . . too bad he had to die this way
4 those who never knew him, he was the chief cook for the Sri Mariamman temple, Kemunting, kuantan and he has been in catering 4 weddings and whatever occasion
The thing is ..... he lived so close to our house ... and he got murdered... so my parents were like "lock the door at all times"

anyways.... thats all 4 now...
cya

EXAM WEEK!!!

2009-05-23T03:55:00.000-07:00

i cant write much ... so just the short version ...

1. exam sucked
BM... BI .... Maths .. ok la
other subjects... down the drain ...

2. i am SICK....
macam kena sumpah .... cough .. flu (hingus macam emas) ... sakit tekak..
couldnt concentrate when answering the damn paper ..... couldnt study
so damn worried bout the deal...

3. the peasant fell for the princess ,,,,, and the mortal fell for the angel...
aku giler gembira,,,,

so... bye

Coretan 9 Mei

2009-05-23T03:28:00.000-07:00

Pada 9 mei 2009, telah berlangsungnya satu perayaan Hindu yang dipanggil Chitra Paurnami.
Perayaan ini diadakan pada bulan setiap bulan penuh dalam bulan Chitirai dalam kalendar hindu.

Sebenarnya perayaan tersebut bermula 9 hari (i think) sebelum bulan penuh.
Pada pagi Chitra Paurnami, semua orang yang telah memasang hajat akan membawa susu ke kuil untuk upacara sembahyang .... the prayers goes on till the evening.

At that night, it is said that Goddess Amman will visit the town. so, she uses a chariot as her mode of transportation. during the festivel, the ratham / theer (chariot) is pulled by fellow devotees.
and this year, aku join sekali ....
the people who i know who pulled the chariot with me... my bros(biasalah), visnu, visnu's fren(kalaivani form 1 SMART 's bro), arvind, devagar, yughesh, and some other ppl.

What actually happened.....
1. kena tarik barefooted (no shoes allowed)
2. hujan at 7.45 PM and ribut at 11.15 pm

Sejauh mana?
From kemunting amman temple (5.45 pm ) ~~~ Cenderawasih tunas manja (6.15 PM)~~~~lalu kubur cina~~~ Vinayagar Temple (8.00 PM till 9.15 PM)~~~ naik bukit ubi ~~~~ Murugan Temple (9.30)~~~Indera Mahkota junction ~~~ (9.45) U-TURN ~~~turun bukit~~~~ masuk junction hotel brumatsu (10.15) ~~~~ Klinik Pesakit luar(10.45)~~~~u-TURN kat junction near hotel champagne~~~ ECM (11.35)~~~~~Jalan depan the store/ocean (11.45)~~~ Depan Courts Mammoth ~~~~ Depan Kuantan Parade~~~ Belakang Telekon ~~~ Junction depan Celcom ~~~~ SAmpai kuil kemunting semula (1.15 am)

all the while we were barefooted... soaking wet..... our hands ached.... blisters at the soles of the feet...

and we actually had fun

weekly post....

2009-05-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

dah seminggu berlalu ...

and aku nak inform .... CHEW YEE TAK JADI PINDAH..... .... gile happy...
Monday..... I dapat tau pasal satu benda buruk berlaku kpd kawan rapat aku ...
dia tak tau pasal benda tu.... kawan dier cite.... aku damn bengang...
nak sangat belasah budak tu..... tapi kawan dia tak nam bagitau nama budak
tu...
Tuesday.... Ari paling sedih dalam hidup aku... mengalahkan tahap kesedihan yang di
alami sebelum ni ....
Wednesday...Aku involved ASAT, ASSEMBLY BIASA, + Mesyuarat Agong KOPERASI ... damn
tiring....
Thursday....Considered as the most happiest day of my life in 2 weeks.... dah la
lotery sekolah .... a few teachers tak masuk kelas... best giler lepak
dengan kawan rapat aku...
Friday...... Hari ni ...

..... my life is giler giler koya...... xoxoxoxooxoxo

Peningalan.......

2009-04-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

halo.... tujuan aku post blog awal2 pagi buta ni utk maklumkan korang yg salah satu kawan baik aku nak belar dari SMART ni dah....
i wont say her name..... she might want this issue to be confidential.... but i will add it in once i've received confirmation....
i honestly gonna miss her so badly..... and her JAY CHOU....

BTW, esok hari runding cara....aku tak nak parents aku datang.....
sebenarnya aku ak cite pown kat diorang yg esok ade...tapi ... SMS SEKOLAH yang terlampau sadis tu dah hantar sms kat ayah aku ...

so basically, kalo ari isnin aku tak datang sekolah .... percayalah bahawa aku mungkin dah meninggalkan dunia yang fana ini.... please come to my funeral.... huhu.... :p

so bye.....nak gi sekolah dah ni...

MInggu Pelik

2009-04-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

MAAF.... POST INI TERPAKSA DIPADAMKAN KERANA DI MINTA KAWAN RAPAT....
HARAP MAKLUM.....

Moral Folio

2009-04-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

Alamak ... folio aku tak siap lagi!!!!!
bodoh betol la.....
ni gambar kitaorang

so.. gotta go do it...ASAP....

Choral...

2009-04-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

Ade satu pertandingan tu....

Nama nya Choral speaking....
Tahun lepas SMART dpt no 3..... perempuan belaka sedih ...
SABS dapat no 1..... adikku and his geng masuk + qian wen

tapi tahun ni...
sehari sblm cuti...
tiba2 pn wong bee bee heret org form1 and form2 and form4 masuk....
Miss Mengada pown masuk..... Malangnya adikku pown masuk.... kacau line jer...
so waktu cuti pun ade training... aku guna alasan nak jumpe adikku tapi sebaliknya aku borak ngan miss mengada...
lepas cuti... seminggu takde training...
minggu lepas... diorang training maut....setiap hari stayback.... ade jugak la kadang2 aku gi jengok2.. saje nak jumpe miss mengada and kacau kash and her geng and borak wid the guys...
but benda yg aku tak puas hati.... ialah
bila diorang training kat Dewan Al-Falah.... budak2 lelaki yg tak matang ni .... selalu gi backstage....
masalahnye... SIR CHAN yg amat baik kadang2 dah gi letak benda2 tajam yg pelik dan berbahaya.... kalau terpijak.... kalo kena muka.... gone la....
pastu budak2 ni tak pernah perasan.... cikgu susun meja kat atas backstage tu dah lebih 5 thn .... tapi papan yg support lebih kurang 180 meja besi tu lebih kurang 2 inci jer...... damn nipis... kalo jatuh ..... confirm mati .... kalo dinesh mati... takpe la...
so, aku pown nasihat la kasya suroh bagitau diorang... jangan buat ape2...
tpi diorang tak dnegar... akhirnya.... aku pun ambik tali dan ikat pintu gril backstage.... pastikan binatang2 tu tak masuk....

anyways... they managed to get 3rd placing in the competition... Alor akar won number one... (my cousin won !!!)
but there are a few ppl who i notice to be excellent and willing to waste time and get malu to help the helpless monkeys ...
1. kasya.... always menjerit, melalak, to get things in order...
2. Sandhya.... always giving her opinion ....to make things better...

this 2 ppl are the paling menonjol sekali .... mabey got summore ppl.... jgn marah if i never insert ur names...

finally.....SMART was able to put on a good show.... but they could do better with more disclipline and time ...

Coretan Mingguan......

2009-04-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

dis week was an average one.....

monday.....sibuk....
tuesday.... bosan...
wednesday....worried + rindu....
thursday..... the saddest day in my life so far...
friday.... today la.....

results..... everyday i worry bout dis .....
BM 82... my best in 2 years.....
BI 78.... i love miss kong.... improved....
Sejarah....80.... i was shivering when taking the results.... dahlah cikgu tu kawan ayah aku.... thanks Miss mengada 4 nasihating me .... aku insaf..
modern Maths...90.. tribute to Cikgu Azora.... always nvr enter her class...
Phy.... 70.... maintain final year....
Chem... 63 ... loads of silly mistake..... shit!!!
BIo .... 65 .... actually i was proud i passed this one... i didnt read a thing!
Moral.... 61... my worst downfall ever.... last year got 92... damn sad....

anyways .... afiq wasnt here dis week ... sum camp.... firous... nasyid... amalen debate... actually.... this week was quite boring ... but the best thing.... aku dah rapat ngan budak laki moral form 5 again ... mabey coz amalen takde.... aku lepak wid kevin all the time .... nice aso lepak wid that fellow... lagi aku dah rapat ngan stephen and suresh... and it seems that in the absence of amalen .. i feel like i was in form 2 again ....

wednesday.... i get to train a group 4 school comp.... i dunno wat to say...
chew yee tak pilih utk aku ... neda maran and luveen are useless.... but lucky... chow and chuah saved my ass, at least got 2 state comp ppl in my group...

thursday,,,, the saddest day in my life.... only one person never layan me... i felt like i've worth nothing..... i was damn sad... wanted to cry....

Friday.... dad came to skool .... saw cikgu ct zaleha...
she said that .... i'm very good student ... but always bc.... alot teacher report... and i never sleep in class.... and i must do alot latihan ... at home i kena lecture nicely.... luckily my dad didnt saw Miss Mengada..... he wanted to actually... i didnt let...

anyways..... Sandhya won Public Speaking..... even my ttn teacher was talking bout her...... i dunno y i felt kinda proud.... ...
.

demikianla laporan mingguan hamba....

Waitin 4 kad sakit

2009-03-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

I sucked in my physics and sejarah,,,

really2 think gonna fail....
gonna get kad sakit .....
then that evening... commit suicide....

anyways.... moral folio not yt finish.....
gonna get it 4 that aso....
pity cikgu raja ...... seorang raja yg terpaksa tension sebab pelajarnya tak guna

by the way.... my closest frend is going 4 her public speaking competition on 1st april.... wish her luck 4 me pls.....

Dis Week

2009-03-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

Since Monday......
I almost died....
must at least past all the subjects in dis damn exam ...
coz if fail ... then skool give red card!!!
but 1 week holiday aso i never study .... missing sumone..
so i began what i do normally during exam... LAST MINUTE STUDY....
everyday... cant go on9.... so cant post blog .. till today..

Exams sucked till the core ....
Bio and sejarah was my worst .... i hope i'd die ....
fortunately, +maths was answerable.... boleh jawab lar...
b4 i hentam 10 questions ... now i hentam 3...
but bio and sej mostly i hentam ... especially essay and experiment...
others boleh tahan la... except the fact that i silap do chemical equation for group 1 experiment...... damned ...

frend throughout the week ....
all of them bc study... tak layan me ...
afiq was hungry all the time ...singing during exam and he managed to answer well...
firdhaus dah putus asa... abrar and syahrul are on a mission ...
amalen and kevin communicating at every chance....
amilah helped me in last minute study in BIO ...( thankx milah)
Chew yee semangat stjohn masih kuat walau exam...
form 2 non- muslim gang are gossiping bout me...
stephen, suresh and kevin .. i aso dunno y .. talking damn sarcastic..
scar... form 2 machaa.... became my gang when i lepak in form 2 block....
and very very thanks to sandhya who managed to motivate this helpless soul to at least do last minute study although she's damn bc wid choral speaking and public speaking.... thank you :-)....

Anyways i found out that my bro mencarut to my closest frend in this world.... she told me that it happened... i felt like destroying him... but she said no need....
i am very dissapointed in my bro....

god bless all who helped me in this damned week .....
JAI HIND!!!

Fruit Plus..... !

2009-03-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

My first blog in Malay

Attention to all Indians and manusia yang prihatin....

JANGAN MAKAN FRUIT PLUS....
Bukannya sebab nak boikot Israel....
tetapi .... sebab... fruit plus ade lembu!!!!

comfirm ade yang tak terkejut.....
biar saya jelaskan kepada kawan2 yang beragama islam

bagi orang-orang yang beragama hindu.... MEMAKAN DAGING ATAU TULANG ATAU MANA-MANA BAHAGIAN BADAN LEMBU ADALAH DIKIRA HARAM dari segi adat dan kepercayaan hindu....

Saya malas nak menjelaskan kenapa..... Next time la

bagi yang masinh tak percaya.... tengoklah gambar yg saya scan ini ....
ataupun .... beli lah gula-gula tu sendiri.....

Antara gula-gula lain yang mempunyai gelatin..... fruitella, sugus, dll

Sekian Terima Kasih

World Earth Day

2009-03-27T04:42:00.000-07:00

Actually, I firstly heard of this thing in the radio..... Hitz. FM morning crew....
3 weeks ago.....
Pls support this programme,.... just turm yous lights and electrical appliances off for only one hour.... at 8.30 pm to 9.30 pm on 28th March....
You'll have no idea how many million kilowatts of electrical energy that can be reduced in the world during that one hour...
Supportlah..... sure nice one ..... being part of a worldwide programme by just turning off your lights!

Words Of Wizzdome

2009-03-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some inspiring word from a great dude, Mahatma Gandhi

To believe in something and not to live it, is dishonest.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

A religion that takes no account of practical affairs and does not help to solve them is no religion.

A weak man is just by accident. A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.

All the religions of the world, while they may differ in other respects, unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.

An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.

“If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.

Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up.

Be the change that you want to see in the world.

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Anything we do may be insignificant, but it is most important that we do it

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment

I shall not fear anyone on earth, I shall only fear god

Nice huh.... i hope at least one of his quotes will inspire you in your life.... :-)

My First Sajak

2009-03-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I suck in creative writing.....
Afiq is so damn creative........ i dont know from where he got his brain

anyways.....
This is the first poem i made....
i know it sucks.....
but still
i wanna post this......

so here it goes....

BILA BERJAUHAN,
RINDUKU TERHADAP MU MAKIN BERGANDA,
BILA KU HADAP MALAM KESUNYIAN,
LETERTAWA SUARAMU MENGGAMIT RINDUKU,
KABUS PAGI YANG HENING MEMBEKU,
MENAMBAHKAN RINDUKU TERHADAP PELUKAN HANGATMU,
BANTAL KATIL YANG KERAS MEMBATU,
MENGEMBALIKAN MEMORIKU TERHADAP NIKMAT MEMBARINGKAN KEPALAKU DI PEHAMU,
SENYUM GEMBIRA DAN TANGISEDIHMU UNTUK MENDEWASAKAN AKU,
TAKKAN HILANG DARI LOKAR MEMORIKU WALAU BERADA DI PUNCAK DUNIA,
MAHUPUN DI DASAR LURAH MARIANAS,
KERNA KEJAUHAN AKAN MENDEKATKAN CINTA,
YANG TAK MUNGKIN HILANG,
WALAU SELEPAS DUNIA YANG FANA INI TELAH KU TINGGALKAN.
KERNA KAU ADALAH IBUKU YANG SATU

guess who this poem is for?...... :P

Handphone...... Sms ... Why cannot?

2009-03-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

this was the most weird thing that happened in my life.....
i never realised they did this to me....
so sad....

I smsed someone.....
I am very close to her....
We are gud frends.... close frends

Suddenly.... one day.... my parents brought me to a restaurant alone...
I didn't understood what happened....
They ordered Nasi Goreng...
Suddenly.... amma asked.... " Who is XXX ?"
I was shocked
I laughed..... i said my frend....
My dad asked if normal frend .... y sms so much?...
I didnt knew wat to say.... they were the typical type of parents .... the type who are not cool if they knew their son has a fren who is a gurl....
so i said.... She is under some commitee board and i'm the leader... she's my assistant... i have to contact her...
Almost instantaneosly my mum asked..... isn't she your gf....
then suddenly, she reveals information bout her..... her parents.. house address....
i felt damn cold..... i thought...... " damn ... i'm a terrorist now huh ?..... "

i saw many cop movies..... so i knew they were interiogating me... i remained calm...
guess what happened next.... i told my mum .... ....
i said.... i dont have a girl frend...
they said... dun lie la.....
i laughed...
i said.... if i have a girlfriend..... i would have told my mum first... and i dont even have enough money to get anyting for her.... you never gave me allowance!....
i thought they understood boecause they changed the topic!.....

Arghhhh SELAMAT!!!!!

Hahaha.... my first blog....

2009-03-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hi i'm dhijee....
Since Ancient times... i wanted to start a blog...
but i had no idea wat the heck was a blog...
i thought it was sumkind of damn diary for ppl to show off their personal feelings and crap....
but i soon found out... wat it actually is ....
and i decided to make one for myself....
Thank you afiq and Chew yee... for teaching me the definition of blogging